TODOS SANTOS

I died a little inside
When I stopped surfing
After three decades
Of an inept practice.

I was always a runner.
And for many years
A bare foot runner
Before I arrived in the U.S.

I died a little inside
When I stopped running
After most of a lifetime spent
 Running, running, running.

Now I sit outside my room
In Baja, overlooking an arroyo
On its rocky path to the Ocean -
A grey-blue strip on the horizon.

I am neither planning my next run
Nor checking the tide or the swell. 
I just gaze at the arroyo, its pitayo
Cactus and its wildlife…

I was last in Baja 40 years ago
Long before these small deaths -
Each a modest sacrifice of self
Uncovering a wider consciousness…

Now, am I awakened or regretful?
This is the measure of my
Preparedness for the big one:
How I die before dying…